What am I going to lose?

I may have just agreed to go back to the hospital soon.

Since UST Hospital has not called me yet for any exam or interview for the probationary / contractual Staff Nurse post after finishing the training last June and after having submitted all requirements last July, and after waiting for months and months, I have finally decided to look the other way. After all, I cannot wait forever and doing so is such a silly thing to do seen this way that opportunities are lacking and not everyone is given the chance.

So after almost 4 months of hiatus in the practice, I decided, why wait for USTH if I can go and train for a little while at SLMC?

A couple of days ago I got a text from the personnel from St. Luke’s to come in for an orientation the next day. I was pretty ambivalent about it, mind you. Not because I still have not get over the USTH but because my sister and my niece are coming over from the US for Christmas and my parents might emigrate there early next year and this Christmas is our first Christmas together in almost 6 years (probably even longer considering my sister isn’t always present during Christmases because of her job at the hospital) since my sister left the country and sadly, the last. That means, the three-month training, should I finally decide to take all three phases, will take most of my time and I won’t be there for reunions, parties, road trips, dinners, and such because I am here in Manila and Zambales is almost 6 hours bus ride away.

I almost, almost did not take the opportunity. Family weighs more than the training itself. As a matter of fact, while sitting there while listening to the orientation, I have decided I won’t be going to anymore, even if it took a while to submit and receive a callback, and even if it is St. Luke’s. But then they gave us this shotgun IQ test which contains 84 random grammar and Math questions that we have to take for only 15 minutes, something I am not sure I’d pass. Among the 60 first priority applicants present that day, only 11 passed including myself. So that should amount to something right? What happens to the 49, I don’t know, but for me not to take this chance is probably not any difference to their fate. So I took a leap of faith and decided I will take this chance. After all, not everyone is given this chance.

I am not yet sure what I will do come December that my sister and my niece, whom I am meeting for the first time, get here. I am not yet sure what I will do should there be calls from elsewhere, something of great importance than this training. I don’t know. I am not yet sure. But I will take this chance and the days after the next as they go along.