Her Name is in the Bible

Last week I went to my sister’s former college to organize her NCLEX-RN endorsement papers from the California Board of Nursing. She’s a graduate of Batch 2002 from a school almost a stone’s throw away from mine and is currently practicing in the state of Arizona. Amidst the extreme heat of the afternoon Philippine sun, I went to the Dean’s Office to inquire about this as I am oblivious since I have not taken my NCLEX-RN.

The secretary is kind enough to acknowledge my existence and that look in her eyes is something I do not see that often – she is eager to help. My exact question to her is, ‘Ma’am, paano po ito?’ (‘Ma’am, how do I do this?), referring to my sister’s endorsement papers. She is sympathetic enough to run it down for me. She asked for the papers, took what she needs, gave me a list and slips of what to pay, and directed me where to pay for it. She even asked about how my sister is doing even if she doesn’t know her at all. After the small talk I gladly responded to, I left, went to the other building to request and pay for the documents needed alongside it and went back to the office with the accomplished papers and receipt in less than 30 minutes despite the heat and the rush in the university offices. It took me that few minutes to get that day’s mission accomplished without clenching my teeth and hating one person that day. From my side of things, when I need to get something done from my school’s registrar or Dean’s Office, that is not how it goes for me. So yes, that day is a walk in the park and such one fine treat. What I will give to get such treatment and experience in my side of things. Sigh.

I am a BSN graduate from one of the ‘top performing Nursing Schools’ in the country. 

It sounds arrogant and airy. 

Trust me, that is something I would have not written

 if not only for a point that I will try to make in this post.

As many of you know, filing and acquiring the documents that serve as requirements and credentials for examinations, certifications, and employment are quite a challenging coup in some institutions for nurses. Given that there are many students or graduates who are concurrently applying for the above said papers; it must be a rough job for the one who handles it. But nothing can be too hard if done right, I suppose. After all, if I was served well by one institution for just about the same thing I would need for myself, I see no reason why it can’t be done in an institution I call my home.

I know you are probably questioning what I am trying to say or what point I am trying to make, as up to this point, it is still vague. I will get there and I’ll make that point, I promise. Just hear me out some more time.

A trip to my former university to request for just about anything I need for exams and work is always a daunting experience. I’d even call it traumatic and exasperating to some extent. If we are batch mates or if you went to the same college as I did, you’ll understand.

So here’s the clear picture of how things went for me from my side of things.

You go in there, all polite and positive, to inquire for the requirements in order for you to finally request for that particular document you need. You are courteous enough to greet the person before you ‘Good Morning’ but you will not be granted that same courtesy. Not that you are asking for it, not that you need it, and not that you demand for it. But you will not be acknowledged in a good way even, maybe not unless you graduated on top of the class or if you know them personally or if they know you by your worth to the institution when you are still there or basically when you are popular. I’ve been going back and forth to that office, speaking to the same person, and not one greeting or smile is granted to me. It would have been okay to me if she’s not snarky enough to ask, ’Oh, ano sayo?’ ('What do you need?') as if just asking someone what she needs when one buys in a sari-sari store.

Finally, when you have the secretary’s obviously divided and egotistic attention, you ask what you need to do or what documents you need for it. As if it’s hard enough to give every single thing in the list, she’ll give you one very important requirement and when you don’t have it with you, of course, you need to go back, right? And finally when you have it with you, she asks you for more requirements from the list she should have given you or told you about the first time you asked.

One more annoying thing is, she asks you to return for it in a week or two weeks’ time, which is understandable because no document is produced in a blink of an eye. She even ask you to call first to verify if it is already available to be claimed. I took the liberty of calling one time because I know that her one to two weeks’ time frame, although the ideal, is not attainable or almost impossible at the rate of how she’s working and also considering how people I know complain that they don’t get theirs done as she told them or as expected. Once, I requested for a set of documents (GWA, Ranking, Good Moral, and Recommendation Letter). Since she’s busy, she told me it will be available at the end of the month (it is the first week of the month that day). I assumed, of course, that it will be ready by the end of the month. But I was too busy that I did not go to claim the files. As a matter of fact, I went there almost three months after I requested for it, and I called before I go there and asked if my documents are ready to be claimed and she said yes and that I should come over. I went there, all hopes, that finally, after three months, I can submit my requirements to my hospital of choice, only to be left there standing in astonishment as she looks from folders and folders of files, and finally she quipped, ‘Ay wala pa pala, balik ka na lang’, in a flat, still obnoxious tone and face. Being the polite person that I am, I said ‘okay’ and left the office before my suppressed rage comes to surface.

So yes, say it with me, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

To fast things forward, I got those documents two weeks after that day. And I vowed to myself I will follow up frequently and I even taken it into consideration if I should bring her a cup of coffee or a box of doughnuts next time, you know, just to speed things up a little bit. But I didn’t and I punished myself mentally for discerning that in the first place. I’m just not that kind of person.

Not too long ago, I went back there again for some papers I need for a hospital employment. I asked my former classmates first if I can get that requirement there (some said no, some said it’s your ‘sariling sikap’ to compile the data for that when clearly they should be able to help us with that, right?, some said yes and that that’s how it is supposed to be). A classmate of mine told me what she knew about it and so I went there, with the requirement she told me to bring (as one officer from the office told her) - a letter of request.

I went in, again, all polite and positive no matter how I detest being in a state of pretense since I evidently don’t like the person I am about to talk to that time (again considering how she treated me and how snarky she is). I inquired nicely about it and she said I need my original transcript for it which I don’t have at that time. Since it is nearly 11:00 in the morning that time, I went to my feet and went home to get my transcript. In about 15 minutes I am back to the same office and she’s nowhere in sight. There’s a queue in her desk by the time I arrive and I concluded that she went to take her lunch (she takes her lunch break early for some reason I don’t give a hell about anymore) and it didn’t surprise me to be informed that she already is, at lunch.

I sat there patiently waiting, tip-tapping my phone out of boredom, and about an hour later, she’s back in the office. All of us who are waiting for this godly creature stood up, fell in a line, and waited for our turn to be entertained. To our surprise, she told us to go back an hour later as they are about to take their lunch break. I couldn’t help myself but mutter a big and bold, ‘What the fuck?!’ that to both my horror and gratitude she didn’t hear.

Um, Ma’am, seriously? Por favor? Did you not leave the office a long time ago to take your lunch break and you returned here parading your pompous ass only to tell us to get our ass out of here so you can take your very important lunch break? Are you freaking kidding me? Are you not paid for your 8-hour clerical work daily and here you are taking your sweet time for your lunch while there are stacks of documents on your table, waiting for your perfect, magical, very important time?

That, I did say to her, only mentally. Too bad she’s not a telepath. So yet again, being the polite person I am, I left, said not a thing to her, went to lunch, and kept mum.

An hour later, I went back to the office, waited in the couch for my turn, and then lo and behold, as if the sky opened its doors on me, she called me and said, ‘Miss Ano, ano, nga sa’yo?’ As if asking a poor, impoverished girl of what she wants from her sari-sari store, her big eyes staring down at mine as if I can’t afford even the most inexpensive candy in her stock.

I told her my concern and you know what she told me? That that requirement I need is the PRC Case Form I have accomplished over a year ago, that I need to have it notarized before I send it to the States, even after I insisted that what they are requiring is the list of clinical exposures not the damned cases. I guess, it’s ‘sariling sikap’ after all. But my point here is, can she not tell me that 3 hours ago when I first went in? Do I really have to wait and sit on my ass, cramping in sweat, for three hours just to get to her and hear what I obviously don’t want to hear?

So yes, say it with me, one more time, please, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

As if it’s not enough you had me waiting at your feet, you had me waiting for so long for a big fat nothing. I do not hate. I do not judge. I am in no position to tell you how to do your job. But I have one little request: Please do it right.

Sooner or later I need to go back in there. No matter how much I hate to, I need to.

One thing I abhor and I cannot allow is the injustice that comes with when powerless people are not heard and ripped of their chance to be heard all the more. So here I am, writing this stake so people can know what is happening and that you are not alone, or maybe, just maybe, people can hear me and tell me I am not alone, too. At first it is unknown to me that there are some graduates like me who are experiencing the same thing. I am telling you now: this cannot go on. This is wrong. And that there’s something we can do about it, and that we must do something about it - for others, if not just for ourselves.

To you Madame:

They said respect is being earned, that respect is something you cannot impose to anyone regardless of your age, profession, and social strata. And yet I am respecting people who do not earn it and people who never will. You can impose to me your need to be respected because you are in the office and that I need your help and for that I will be polite to you just as much as I was the first time I went in that office to seek for your help. I will respect you, not because you earned it, but because being respectful is innate in me.

I will give nobody the consummation of looking down on my parents for raising a child this way. So yes, I will respect you and people like you, and I will not demand yours for my personal satisfaction because I have too much of that for and to myself.

And yes, for one more time, I am a BSN graduate from one of the ‘top performing Nursing Schools’ in the country. It sounds arrogant and airy. But I am a building block of that feat and so are many others, so we are giving you the benefit of the doubt that you will give us what we duly earned and deserved – at least to be treated just and right.

P.S.

Since I do not name drop, the title is easy enough to decode who she is. And no, I am not afraid.